sat·ire [sat-ahyuhr] –noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.

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Monday, September 27, 2010

Why I can't make mom friends

50 comments:

  1. I feel like I've known you all my life. Well, ok, the last 2 and a half years then.

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  2. @Jules - Aren't we all?
    @ Ms. Julie T - Thank you ma'am
    @Taytwah - I doubt it, I've been hiding under a rock

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  4. LOVE LOVE LOVE. Sent on to several others who will forward. Couldn't be more spot on.

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  5. you are my friend WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT

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  6. I can't stop watching. These movies are made of awesome.

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  7. Thank you all for hanging in there. New cartoons up by Oct 1!

    @Madfoot - send cookies. We'll talk.

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  8. Hilarious! Even though we fall into some of these "categories" that you're poking fun at, this is still spot on. Thanks for making me laugh!

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  9. @heidi - i'm in some of my own categories too. We have got to laugh at ourselves or we will surely lose the joy of motherhood.

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  10. Wow, I'm a first timer here...this is so spot on and perfect!!

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  11. Rebekah from Mom In A Million posted your latest video on Facebook and now I am busily watching all the videos! They are awesome! I too fall into a couple of the categories you mention (breastfeeding & cloth diapering), but am glad that you show that it isn't ok for us to be putting other mothers down because they make different choices. Can't wait to see more videos!

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  12. Holy Shit, bahaahah...oh that was good. I see myself in many places...it's so true , we can't take ourselves too seriously or it's not fun anymore. More please!

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  13. Sending this on to all my friends with twins! That one line kept me giggling on and off all day.

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  14. I exclusively heed medical advice from one Jenna McCarthy. All hail…or was that aww hell.

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  15. i love this sooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't believe how spot on this conversation is....wow. looking forward to more and more.

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  16. HAHAHAHA! So true! THIS is why I never went to "mom's morning out" when my kids were small!!!

    Cathy

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  17. I am not a mother, but I work at a pediatric hospital. I come across the uptight parents quite a bit. While I understand that they want what's best for their children, I wonder if they possess critical thinking skills.

    Case in point: Vaccinations. The above video is pretty much the same conversation I've had countless times (minus the "Holy shit" part). There have been outbreaks of childhood diseases over the past year, all stemming from waiting rooms in the ER and various outpatient clinics. It's not that my hospital is dirty or anything -- it's the fact that kids are little germ factories. If you're going to bring your unvaccinated child to a place filled with sick kids (especially for something as silly as a stubbed toe), they're going to wind up with Oregon Trail diseases. Why do you think vaccines were invented in the first place?

    I also have an issue with so many parents caring about their children so much that they're blind to others. I once had a woman bring her seven-year-old into the ER for a sore throat he had had for two hours. He had no fever and was otherwise fine. She was angry with me that they had to wait, upset abut the radiation in the x-rays (which, by the way, are far less of a dose than going out in the sun without protection for fifteen minutes), and appalled that the only space for them was in the hallway since the ER was so busy that evening. While I was bringing her into the exam room, we passed two inpatients in the hall. Both were older kids: One (very plainly) had cancer, and the other had sickle cell disease (which wasn't obvious, but whatever.) She actually said to me that the two teenagers should be treated at other hospitals so her son could have a proper ER exam room. I tried to explain that emergencies are emergencies, and that we have a lot of sick kids who get precedence over other less-threatening issues. Also, some children absolutely need to be isolated due to compromised immune systems. She said "My child is more important." I just walked away because I wanted to strangle her.

    Sadly, this wasn't the first or last time this sort of thing has happened. As a healthcare worker, I have to remain professional, but this sort of thing makes me so angry that I want to start yelling. It's an epidemic. Why can't these parents understand that we have ALL of the children's best interest in mind, not just theirs? I'm sorry that we can't be as hypervigilant as you are, but we simply don't have the resources, staff, or sanity to accommodate your overreaching demands.

    I apologize for the long comment. It's just that these type of parents -- and though they mean well in some misguided way -- do a lot more harm than good in more ways than just being annoying at the park.

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  18. @Anonymous
    Funny you should mention this. I am working on a video right now about...The Medical World and moms. I worked in a hospital for years as well and each time I would see a very very very sick child, I found it hard to breathe. So now, when I hear moms complain about their sick kids (he has the sniffles) I want to punch them in the face.

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  19. this is so funny. cracks me up!

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  20. This video was brilliant! Love the others too! I posted this one on my blog. I have to share! http://wigglelove.blogspot.com/2010/10/why-i-cant-make-mom-friends.html

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  21. I love you. Come be my BFF and we will park the kids in front of Dora and eat cookies and drink wine and we will tell the kids we are eating spinach and drinking soap.

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  22. OMG...I don't even know how I got to this blog for sure...but WOW I haven't laughed this hard in YEARS! I mean I was crying slapping my knee and holding in my stomach laughing. Oh thank you wonderful blogger, you absolutely made my day...thank you for posting this about what its like with some of those "bat shit crazy" moms out there. LOL
    Keep up the good work!!

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  23. You're on YBM, aren't you?

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  24. I'm a teacher. Usually I have a few parents a year who think their children are soooo gifted and just so much more special than any other child in the classroom.
    This year, I was talking to a parent about some concerns she had with her child and I said "I understand your concerns. I am a parent, too". She responded "My child is just more special than the average child". I got off the phone so quickly so I wouldn't say something I regretted!
    Can you and I be friends??? You are so fun!! :)

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  25. Thank you for finding such an entertaining way to communicate this important issue. I'm a licensed professional counselor in private practice and see this as a real mental health issue, not only for children, but for parents and society at large. In a child development class in graduate school, we learned about the "good enough" theory of parenting and the guilt-inducing theories of the past that placed mothers at the heart of many psychological ills: one false move on the part of mom and the child is ruined for life kind of mentality. The research I read at that time completely overturned that kind of thinking. This is not to say that parental abuse and neglect, whether physical or emotional, does not cause lasting damage. Moreover, parents can "do" everything "right" for their children, but if the parent is narcissistic and selfish, children experience a kind of emotional deprivation regardless of how well-cared for they are because the parent is not able to model for the child, much less genuinely offer the child, a truly loving relationship. If what the parent is doing for their child is out of a sense of insecurity about themselves and proving their worth via being a super-mom, it's no longer about the child and is narcissistic. It's not even healthy when parenting comes from a sense of "making up for" what you didn't have as a child or get from your parents without sensitive attunement and respect for what the child actually needs and who the child actually is. If not, it's a case of projection of a parent's unfulfilled needs onto the child, which is an unconscious and unintentional form of selfishness. I'm not preaching--even having studied this issue in graduate school, I made many mistakes as a parent that came from allowing my unconscious needs to creep in. Children have a radar for this, and their true self goes underground if it is not recognized and validated. Sometimes it takes decades for the lost self to re-emerge from the shadows and sometimes only in the safe and neutral emotional space created by therapy. Basic caring, nurturing, responsible parenting which allows a child the room to become who they are as individual souls is what is required. The particulars of how that is delivered don't seem to matter much. Whew--isn't that a relief to know? All this parental angst has made lots of CEO's and stockholders very rich, and so there is an investment in keeping the helicopters spinning. "Too good" parenting always makes me suspicious of narcissism, anxiety/OCD, or unresolved childhood issues on the part of the parent. And the burden of anxiety, guilt, shame, or entitlement that the child carries into adulthood is always sad to see. There is an article that touches on "good enough" parenting if interested: http://www.informedparent.com/article.html?thegoodenoughparent. DW Winnicott was the originator of the good enough mother concept, and there is a wonderful small book called "The Drama of the Gifted Child" which speaks to parental narcissism. Hope you find them helpful. Apologies for such a long post, but this is a subject I share everyone's passion about.

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  26. @Donna
    Good article. Have you read Nurture Shock?

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  27. I just have to say thank you, thank you, thank you, for helping me realize I wasn't crazy all these years when I found myself completely unable to deal with the "perfect moms" I met on the playgrounds when my kids were young. My kids are now teens; during the pre-school years I pretty much gave up on play groups, mommy groups, and the like, because I felt so out of place and in complete disagreement with crap like "trophies for participation" (and I can be a bit of a smart ass when backed into a ridiculous corner) so I've just kept to myself. Where were the moms like you 10 years ago? :)

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  28. @Kim
    In college swearing I'd never have children and travel the world.

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  29. joining the throng of other women to thank you for posting this. I practice what I like to call "Survival Parenting": if at the end of the day, all three of them are alive, fed something resembling food, and are relatively clean, and I'm not halfway through a bottle of Pinot Noir, then it's a good day. Since I work out of the home in an area that has a LOT of SAHMs, it's hard to meet other moms, and I admit I get very intimidated by those Super Moms who are so concerned about doing everything "just right", while I'm struggling to find a pair of clean underwear for my barely potty-trained three year old, my six year old is parked in front of the Wii and my 5-month old is laying on the floor getting licked in the face by the dog.

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  30. @ Wineplz...I could have written your post!! LOL!

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  31. Best. Blog. EVER.

    You know what else I love about these videos? It's the fact that it's brought all of us out of the woordwork. Could you imagine if every single one of us who commented on these posts got together for a big get-together, kids-in-tow? What a noisy, sticky, laid-back mess of a fantastic party that would be.

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  32. I like how you made the blond look just like Kate Gosselin. Coincidence? hmmm

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  33. That is amazing for it's truth and humor. I laughed and cried so much, I hurt myself. So totally worth it!!!!

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  34. LOL I FREAKIN LOVED THIS!!!!!!!!!! Jessica Lowe sent me here and I cannot stop laughing!

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  35. Oh. My. Gosh. I think I've HAD that conversation!

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  36. Oh...That's classic! Laughing my ass off! Oh wait, LMAO.

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  37. BTDT with "that mom". And confess that when my firstborn came into the world, I WAS "that mom". Then, I got pg with twins when he was a year old. Nothing like two newborns to go with your toddler to put a screeching halt to the Super Mom antics.

    THANKS for bringing humor to the mommy wars!

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