sat·ire [sat-ahyuhr] –noun
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.

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Sunday, January 9, 2011

Moms have cooties.


Be careful.  Our disease spreads.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!

24 comments:

  1. Yep, it spreads. And she's right.....she is her future!

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  2. Happy New year and LOL....yes it spreads and then what goes around comes around....hmmmm

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  3. that's why i don't have many nonmommy friends, i don't wanna know everything i'm missing out on.

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  4. Charm bracelets and Chick Fil A....I am dying here!! GUILTY!

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  5. I always saw "Girls nights out" as sort of a mom thing. Before kids for me, it was always a mix of friends or boyfriend/husband you went out with... After kids, the women congregate to compare misery

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  6. Girls night out??? You would need something called a babysitter for that I would assume lol. Sadly, everyone I have interviewed would rather be eaten by a pack of rabid wolves then babysit 2 kids with hf ASD. Oh, well. I do get to go out once in a while with a friend if I can co-ordinate their respite.

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  7. hilarious! hilarious! hilarious!!!!!!! I love that you covered this topic. There's nothing worse than being the (chubby) mom nerd in a group of friends. hahah! I remember I went out for a bachelorette party for my first night away from the kids. I had a great time until I realized I couldn't pump at a bar.

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  8. Funny as always but I am a mom and I still get out! It keeps me somewhat sane. My husband & I switch off then sometimes we get a sitter and go out together.

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  9. As someone lucky enough to be in a stable heterosexual relationship, I certainly wouldn't need a sitter to go on a "girls night out." Sorry for being snippy.

    Does anyone else invite childless friends out to dinner (hey! we don't mind getting a sitter) and over to your house (hey! our son would sleep through a rock concert) and then get crickets in return? I can't tell if I smell or if they just are counting me out because I'm a mother.

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  10. "Do not look at me like that. I am your future." SO FREAKING FUNNY!

    Oh how I have missed you!

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  11. HAHAHAHAHA. MADE. MY. DAY.

    My closest friend dropped me like a hot potato after I gave birth to my son. As she was surrounded by the worst sort of "I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Simper-About-Life-Fulfillment" type moms, and decided that because I was now a "mommy" I would automatically want to join their ranks. It felt vaguely like I was being assigned to a leper camp.

    "I have to string 5,000 marshmallows for a table runner" made me snort so hard I choked on a sip of tea. Again... made my day :)

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  12. Oddly I get more of this from other moms because: my kids go to a different school, or because I'm not in MOMS club anymore, or because I exercise or because I volunteer, or because I work part time. Let's face it; women find a reason to dump women friends because we're a fickle bunch.

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  13. Reminds me of the time two college friends met up in my city (one was there for work), and my husband offered to babysit so I could go out with them. One small problem, I wasn't invited! They stopped by to meet the twins and then left.

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  14. @cpo
    It's not the inability to find someone to watch my children, that is the problem, it is simply the lack of invitation due to the assumption I'm preoccupied or not cool enough anymore that is the issue.
    And yes, I do invite childless people out for dinner and yet, it seems like all they want to talk about are my children. Ha! :)

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  15. My closest mom friend ditched me right after my twins were born. I think it was because she could no longer tell me how hard she has it with her single baby...

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  16. This video inspired my post today http://ow.ly/3C8ay

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  17. Okay, I have been guilty of some of the stupid comments other moms have posed, especially those of multiples.

    I do remember going to the park the day before the scheduled sonogram and amnio of my third pregnancy. There was a woman with a set of triplets (no, I did not ask her if they were from treatments). I did ask her if they kept her busy... and she said "Aagh... they just started to run, and in all directions!" Oops, sorry... let me help grab this one!

    Since there are twins in my family I had visions of that until the next day... when it was determined that I only had one, and it was finally a girl! Oh, wait... one of each. Um, yay! But I have my reasons, both my boys had speech/language issues! As it turns out, she was more trouble than both boys put together! (blatant blog plug, she is The Linguist at ScienceBasedParenting)

    Now about the subject about moms having cooties. I have a reason for that. When I quit work due to my oldest son's medical issues (which are still ongoing), members of a professional women's organization that I belonged to thought I had lots of free time. I was be the first person to call to help with records, collate newsletters, sit at a booth for a career fair and other lovely things.

    I squashed that idea with one simple rule: I will not pay for baby sitters for any volunteer work. If you want me to volunteer for anything I will be bringing my kids.

    Though, since it was a solitary task, I did over two thousand scans of their records as part of the section's historical archivist. That I could do, and it was interesting learning about women in engineering from the 1950s to the 1980s.

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  18. I still get invites, but they're mainly to the lame stuff. The really fun stuff I seem to get left out of.

    Funny how you said in your comment above about how single people want to talk about your kids - same experience here. I try so hard to talk as little about my son as possible while with people who don't have kids and yet they always seem to throw questions at me like "How's motherhood?" "What's it like?" Etc., etc.

    They do it to themselves, so why am I the one who gets labeled for it?

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  19. Winter carnival. Crack up.

    Cannot relate to this one as much as I am an ancient first time mom and all my friends BUT me have multiple children.

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  20. U need to label this under Video Short..
    This was super.
    Posted on my FB page

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